How to deal with Postnatal Depression
I may be out of my depth here speaking on a crucial topic that affects many marriages. What I do know is that depression can destroy a relationship. It can affect your children in later years. It can seriously damage your marriage if you don’t take drastic action.
There is help available, it could save your partner and your marriage. No one likes to talk about depression. Even in this world of medical science, we still treat it as a dirty family secret not to be aired in public. More Dads are coming forward and openly discuss how they really feel as a Dad. Read how three Dads coped with Depression
I am an ardent campaigner for parents who suffer from depression and firmly believe we should speak about it openly. I was a member of Fathers Families and Friends and raised awareness for single dads who had no access to their children.
I could not imagine what mental anguish they must have gone through when partners denied them access to their children. The pain in their eyes made me feel totally helpless. I could only listen. Many Dads I met at the group were seeking medical advice and counseling. I did a laughter session with the Dads their mood shifted a little and they looked and felt a little brighter.
I asked some of the Fathers at the group what it was like to feel depressed. Some responded that it was like a dark fog hanging over them. Others said they had no motivation to do anything. I asked them how they coped. The reply was, “We don’t, having a drink with our mates or taking a spliff makes us feel better”. Two Dads in the group contemplated suicide
Baby Blues
During the first week of childbirth, my wife experienced the baby blues. I did not understand it at the time. It’s very hard to talk about it to your partner, especially if you did not experience depression yourself. Speaking to our family doctor helped me understand what my wife was going through. Our GP explained that women can feel low at a time when they should feel happy caring for the baby. Baby Blues are due to sudden hormonal and chemical changes that take place in your body after childbirth.
Symptoms
- Feeling emotional and irrational
- Bursting into tears for no apparent reason feeling irritable or feeling depressed
All these symptoms are normal and usually only last for a few days. If you see any signs of these symptoms, please! don’t ignore it hoping it will go away, take the initiative going with her to the doctor as soon as possible.
I have included a video and links on “Feeling depressed after childbirth” courtesy of the NHS.
Guess what! Dads get the Baby Blues Too !
What! Dads get depressed ?
Nonsense! We are the strong head of the family and just keep going until we suffer a nervous breakdown. Depression is still taboo, we men still find it hard to talk about it. We will rather talk to a pint than talk to a doctor or a close friend. What I do know is that if you are feeling tired, irritable, useless, can’t cope with anything … get help fast and speak to your G.P fast.
I am no authority on depression and suicide and rely totally on medical journals and medical research for evidence-based facts.I did a laughter yoga exercise with the group of fathers who needed emotional support one day a weak. The moment they started to laugh the mood lifted even if it was just temporary. I would urge You to take this seriously. if you suffer from depression seek professional help asp as this could affect Your Health.
According to a report from the Daily Mail, one in five men suffers from depression after they become Dads. The newspaper quoted the authors of a study as saying that this depression is “caused by extra pressures that come from having children, such as loss of sleep and increased responsibilities”. A very brave Dad spoke openly about his depression.
Barbara Mannisi says
April 28, 2016 at 2:41 pmI enjoyed reading your article.
Children need both parents as long as both interact with the children in a healthy way. There are parents (both moms and dads) whose contact with their children should be supervised, but in too many incidences limited access to children is being used by one parent to hurt the other. The accusations made against the one parent are often criminal in nature hence destroying the relationship and the parent’s life as well. When the accusations are false, such actions demean the whole process of protecting the children. The incidences where there is true concern for the children’s welfare is called into question.
There can be no doubt that a father’s love is instrumental in raising a child, so if there is no father, another male should be available to guide that child. But the actual father should be given a chance to father his own child.
What has only recently (past couple decades or so) become known is the importance of a father’s relationship with his DAUGHTER. Their relationship will determine the kind of relationship she will have with all the men in her life including the man she will marry. The lack of a father figure will make it difficult for that girl to relate to men. Not impossible and probably not as bad as having an abusive father.
admin says
April 29, 2016 at 11:40 pmHiBarbara,
Thanks for sharing your views.Your points were very relevant.The absence of a dad in the family has a serious effect on a child’s development which could affect them in later life especially when it comes to relationship issues.On the other hand having an abusive father could also have negative impacts. Some times there is a intergenerational transference where the son or daughter finds them selves in a abusive relationship.
Maureen says
November 29, 2017 at 11:47 amWhen I first looked at the title of this article I automatically assumed that the article was referring to women. For some reason I never thought about men suffering from depression after the birth of their child. The sad reality is I don’t think I am the only one that thinks that way. For many years women have always played the major role in child rearing and if a woman was suffering from post natal depression it was and is much easier to spot than if a man is suffering from the same thing.
As with anything the more we know about something then the more we can deal with it. As we learn more about this and educate the public then hopeful more men will seek out the help that they need and not suffer in silence. Children need both of their parents.
Richard says
November 29, 2017 at 7:24 pmSo very true Maureen. Thanks for the feedback
Maureen says
November 29, 2017 at 11:47 amWhen I first looked at the title of this article I automatically assumed that the article was referring to women. For some reason I never thought about men suffering from depression after the birth of their child. The sad reality is I don’t think I am the only one that thinks that way. For many years women have always played the major role in child rearing and if a woman was suffering from post natal depression it was and is much easier to spot than if a man is suffering from the same thing.
As with anything the more we know about something then the more we can deal with it. As we learn more about this and educate the public then hopeful more men will seek out the help that they need and not suffer in silence. Children need both of their parents.
Richard says
November 29, 2017 at 7:24 pmSo very true Maureen. Thanks for the feedback