Your worst nightmare-Raising a Teenager
I was considered a super dad when it came to bottle feeding my three infants, during the baby stages. I was adept at making dinner in a flash and spending quality time with them from the time they could walk and talk.The moment they hit the puberty stage I turned into a strict parent, laying down the law.
Of course, they would challenge me on everything I said. I failed to understand that they were dealing with their own hormonal changes and mood swings. My teenage children were turning into monsters but as my wife pointed out it was all part of growing up, the realization soon hit home that they were growing into adults and I was treating them like two-year-olds.
Teenage behaviour can be erratic and unpredictable, so it can difficult to distinguish when they are just ‘being a teenager’ and when something more serious is going on. But, as a parent, there are certain warning signs to look out for.
Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist, advises: “As a parent what you can do is look out for unexpected and persisting changes. “Have they changed in any way that is particularly out of character for them? For example, if your teenager is usually very sociable – and he or she withdraws socially to a large degree – there could be a problem.
“If they’re normally very chatty and they become completely uncommunicative, it may be worth exploring whether it’s due to more than just teenage angst.” Read the article
Blessed is the Peacemaker!
Whenever there were arguments amongst my teenage children, my wife would step in and sort the matter out in a matter of minutes. My wife was brilliant at handling conflict, whereas I was the exact opposite. I learned from my wife how to become more empathic. I made a concerted effort to be more understanding and tried to see their point of view.
They were not my babies anymore but young men and women going through a metamorphosis growing from the caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. I caught a glimpse of what they were going through. I could vaguely remember my teenage years and it was not pleasant at all.
We have come a long way in this modern day world, we have made advancement in so many scientific discoveries, but life as a teenager must be hell no matter where in the world, As adults, we can take the pressure of work or financial debt. But nothing can compare to your children becoming a teenager.
Your teenagers are experiencing emotional and physical changes, they are thrown into the deep end of life’s situations. They go through heartbreak, self-esteem issues, nagging parents, peer pressure, not being accepted by other teenagers in the pack, bullying and cyberbullying.
I am on the side of teenagers who struggle to come to terms with their own life because I can identify with practically everything they are experiencing. They don’t seek to wreck your life they just want to be understood, supported because they themselves don’t know what the hell is going on with their bodies and their minds. It is our duty as loving parents to help them with the transitional phase and see them flourish into responsible young adults.
Ease off on the Peer Pressure
I can remember the constant lectures I received from my parents. Those words are still etched in my brain. “Did you do your homework, or – ”You banned from going to the party”. Most parents want to see their children succeed in an academic life. Is it any wonder teenagers, have sleepless nights, serious anxiety issues and eating disorders. Looking back now, it was not the end of the world if they did not get the results they expected.
There were more important issues to deal with like hormones and puberty and other issues. One minute they angry, tearful. What have you said you wonder to upset them? Teenager are not aggressive. According to a psychologist report, mood swings are part of growing up, combine that with pimples, acne, a baritone voice deeper than your own, trying to lose puppy fat, and hair growing from awkward places. Don’t forget the armpit smell .. the poor teenage girls have other sensitive issues to deal with as well.
I never escaped bullying as a child, but thanks to my Dad, I have learned how to deal with bullies effectively. Read my blog on Fight for Your Child. Schoolmates can be vicious and cruel.It is practiced by all age groups everywhere. It intensifies during the school years which can affect them emotionally and sometimes scar them for life.
The worst scenarios are the suicide rates of schoolkids who have been bullied. I feel that schools fail to act or parents do not take it seriously enough until it becomes a full-blown crisis. All three of my children were bullied at school. Both my wife and I took immediate action, we were at the school fighting for our children’s rights until it was dealt with and the bullying stopped.
I even challenged a school teacher for being heavy-handed towards my son. Despite the protest from the principal I called the police.That’s another story. Be there for them, sometimes they are too scared to talk because they think it’s their fault. Social media does not help and we have seen what online bullying can do, it can literally destroy young lives.
Helpful Tips to live a Happy Teenage Life
- Apart from the obvious – set your goals high and education is your best weapon to prepare you for life. Strive for excellence in everything you do -I did not say perfection.
- Mix with like-minded individuals who will support you and not pull you down or deflate your self-esteem with their negativity, when you share your goals or plans for the future.
- Read Personal Development Books it will build self-esteem, confidence levels and keep you focused on your goals. stretch yourself mentally you will be surprised at what you can achieve.
- Get involved in sport and work off that testosterone level, pick a sport you like for example body building, soccer, swimming. hiking, skiing.
- Join a social club and learn how to interact with people from different cultural backgrounds. Avoid being around individuals who drink or smoke too much.
- Help out around the house – learn how to how cook a simple dish once a week.
- Get involved in voluntary work or mentor another student who needs help with a subject
- Get a part-time job during the school holidays and learn how to save -open up a student’s saving account.
- Take a student trip if you can afford it – visit a country of your choice.
- Do what you love and live your life, dream big put your plans into action and watch it materialise
The SUCCESS FOUNDATION has helped many teenagers reach their full potential as productive individuals enabling them to take their right full place in society. Success for Teens creates a book and audio CD demonstrating the importance of clarifying goals and confidence building. The book is easy to read with easy to follow exercises.
Organized in an easy-to-read format and sprinkled with engaging exercises, action steps, and stories from real teens, SUCCESS for Teens helps teens embrace eight principles that will allow them to shape the futures they want. Being a teenager is not easy but there are lots of health available which will help them to become well-balanced individuals.
Become who You really are – Video