Let’s be practical and realistic, none of us are going to live forever. My wife and I were discussing what steps we would put in place should either one of us die suddenly. We have been together for thirty-six years and we hope to live to a ripe old age.
We have planned and discussed how we would love to spend our golden years together. According to The New York Times, loneliness is a killer it can increase your risk of a heart disease, stroke, and cancer. Having enough friends around you helps.
My wife and I have joined a gym, we do a workout three times a week and have made some new friends. We love traveling and dancing. We have become good friends with an amazing woman who is bubbly refreshing and talented. Our interests are the same and once a week we take it in turns to invite each other for a meal.
We laugh like lunatics and share our children’s and grand children’s stories. We have made it a habit of going for a five-kilometer walk every Saturday. I am so fortunate to live in such a beautiful part of the world with stunning scenery.
I am a keen fan of personal development and meditation. One of my goals is to start a laughter club soon at my local community club for all age groups but especially geared for senior citizens. I have also designed a website for Dads of all ages it has been so rewarding that I am bubbling with ideas
Older people are especially vulnerable to loneliness and social isolation – and it can have a serious effect on health. But there are ways to overcome loneliness, even if you live alone and find it hard to get out
Hundreds of thousands of elderly people are lonely and cut off from society in this country, especially those over the age of 75.
According to Age UK, more than 2 million people in England over the age of 75 live alone, and more than a million older people say they go for over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member.
People can become socially isolated for a variety of reasons, such as getting older or weaker, no longer being the hub of their family, leaving the workplace, the deaths of spouses and friends, or through disability or illness.
Whatever the cause, it’s shockingly easy to be left feeling alone and vulnerable, which can lead to depression and a serious decline in physical health and wellbeing.
Someone who is lonely probably also finds it hard to reach out. There is a stigma surrounding loneliness, and older people tend not to ask for help because they have too much pride.
It’s important to remember loneliness can – and does – affect anyone, of any age. Here are ways for older people to connect with others and feel useful and appreciated again.
Smile, even if it feels hard
Grab every chance to smile at others or begin a conversation – for instance, with the cashier at the shop or the person next to you in the GP waiting room. If you’re shy or not sure what to say, try asking people about themselves.
Invite friends for Tea
If you’re feeling down and alone, it’s tempting to think nobody wants to visit you. But often friends, family and neighbours will appreciate receiving an invitation to come and spend some time with you.
If you would prefer for someone else to host, Contact the Elderly is a charity that holds regular free Sunday afternoon tea parties for people over the age of 75 who live alone. You will be collected from your home and driven to a volunteer host’s home for the afternoon. Apply online or call Contact the Elderly on 0800 716 543.
Keep in touch by phone
Having a chat with a friend or relative over the phone can be the next best thing to being with them. Or you can call The Silver Line, a helpline for older people set up by Esther Rantzen, on 0800 4 70 80 90.
You can also call Independent Age on 0800 319 6789, Age UK on 0800 169 2081, or Friends of the Elderly on 020 7730 8263 to receive a weekly or fortnightly friendship call from a volunteer who enjoys talking to older people.
Community Network brings people together on the phone each week. To join or start a telephone group, call 020 7923 5250.
Learn to love computers
I joined Wealthy Affiliate. I am part of a very supportive community online. I designed a website for Dads. It’s the best thing I have done so far apart from graduating with a degree in 2014 at the age of 64 years. Life could not be better.
If your friends and family live far away, a good way to stay in touch, especially with grandchildren, is by using a personal computer or tablet (a handheld computer).
You can share emails and photos with family and friends, have free video chats using services such as Skype, FaceTime or Viber, and make new online “friends” or reconnect with old friends on social media sites such as Facebook or Twitter and website forums.
A tablet computer can be especially useful if you can’t get around very easily, as you can sit with it on your knee or close to hand and the screen is clear and bright. A sponge-tip stylus pen or speech recognition may help if the touchscreen is difficult for arthritic hands or fingers with poor circulation.
Libraries and community centres often hold regular training courses for older people to learn basic computer skills – as well as being a good place to meet and spend time with others in their own right.
Local branches of Age UK run classes in computing to help older people get to grips with smartphones, tablet computers, and email.
Get some tips and advice on how to become more confident using the internet, including how to access your GP surgery online and how to look for reliable online health information.
You can find somewhere local to take free or low-cost computer courses through UK Online Centres
Get involved in local community activities
These will vary according to where you live, but the chances are you’ll have access to a singing or walking group, book clubs, bridge, bingo, quiz nights and faith groups.
Not to mention local branches of regional and national organizations that hold social events, such as the Women’s Institute, Rotary, Contact the Elderly, and Brendoncare clubs in the south of England. The Silver Line helpline (0800 470 8090) can let you know what’s going on in your local area.
Fill your diary
It can help you feel less lonely if you plan the week ahead and put things in your diary to look forward to each day, such as a walk in the park, going to a local coffee shop, library, sports centre, cinema or museum.
Independent Age has published a guide to help you find free groups and classes in your area. Download Wise Guide 3: healthy, happy, connected – support and advice for older people living alone (PDF, 393kb) or order a free print copy by calling 0800 319 6789, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Get out and about
Don’t wait for people to come and see you – travel to visit them. One advantage of being older is that public transport is better value. Local bus travel is free for older people across England. The age at which you can apply for your free bus pass depends on when you were born and where you live. Contact your local authority for more information on how to apply.
Use this State Pension calculator to find out the exact date when you can apply for your free bus pass.
For longer distances, train and coach travel can be cheap, too, especially if you book in advance online and use a Senior Railcard.
The Royal Voluntary Service can put you in touch with volunteers who provide free transport for older people with mobility issues or who live in rural areas with limited public transport.
Use the knowledge and experience you’ve gained over a lifetime to give something back to your community. You’ll get lots back in return, such as new skills and confidence – and, hopefully, some new friends, too.
There are endless volunteering opportunities that relish the qualities and skills of older people, such as patience, experience and calmness. Examples are Home-Start, Sure Start, helping in a local charity shop or hospital, Citizens Advice, and school reading programmes.
Find out how to volunteer in your area on the Volunteering England website.
Read more about how to get started as a volunteer.
Join the University of the Third Age
Want to get your Degree?…. I did at the age of 64. Read my blog – Feel the Fear but Get Your Degree. The University of the Third Age (U3A) operates in many areas, offering older people the chance to learn or do something new.
Run by volunteers, U3A has no exams. Instead, it gives you the chance to do, play or learn something you may never have done before, or something you’ve not considered since your school days. U3A is also a great place to meet people and make new friends.
Find your nearest U3A online.