It’s not only a Woman’s Role

During the 80s I was a hands-on dad as I just lost my job it was fun it was exciting and it was damn demanding. But! I learned so much from my children. All my time management skills I owe to them. My two sons, in turn, have become hands-on dads.

Today, however, times have changed more and more dads have become involved with their children, from pushing prams, bottle feeding and changing diapers. I’m extremely proud of my two sons as they are fantastic with their kids and make it look so simple.

An article in the Daily Mail caught my attention, the title was the “Rise of the hands-on Dads”. According to Sadie Whitlock, she states that the detached dad, turning up his nose at parenting duties, is a myth.

 

A new government survey was done and found that 3,881 fathers across the U.S. who lived at home with their families between 2006 and 2010. Of the 1,790 men with children aged under five, 90per cent said were hands-on dads and bathed dressed and changed diapers. Seventy-two percent of the dads said that they fed and ate with their children daily.

Eighty-one percent of fathers were engaged in playtime activities but when it came to Reading less than 29% found the time to read to their children. Dad’s with children aged 5 years old to 18 only 30% said they help with homework or checked up on the daily progress.

 Two thirds (65per cent) made an effort to engage in conversation about what had happened in the classroom. The nationally representative survey shows fathers’ involvement has increased slightly since the government first asked in 2002, coinciding with research since then that bolsters the benefits of hands-on fathering.

These new results are very encouraging and important to the child’s development. The more involved dads are with their children’s mental and emotional development the more the child would flourish. Joe Jones a leading researcher found there were more academic success less behavior problems and healthier eating habits.

The more dads became involved in their children’s daily activities their children’s wellbeing was assured. The survey speaks volumes. During the baby boom years, mothers were the nurturers and carers and dads were the breadwinners. 

My Dad would run a mile when it came to feeding time but I will say he told us lots of stories and occasionally read us a story, he normally fell asleep halfway through the story.

As those roles shifted, so did the view that mothers are the only nurturers. Jennifer Bellamy Sociologist from the University of Chicago sociologist who also studies fathering, said some old stereotypes persist.

I am doing the most important Job in the World.

Dads are sort of the co-pilots in their families,’ absent or less involved than moms. But she said the survey confirms that fathers ‘are quite involved in a variety of different and important ways.

Here is a case study of Robert Loftus, 34, of Yonkers, New York.

He resigned from a six-figure sales job a year ago to care for his two young children while his wife works full time. ‘Times have changed,’ he said. ‘We’re trying to rethink our priorities and family seems to be the “number one” priority whereas in the past maybe people were more focused on career.

He says he is doing the most important job in the world. Don’t underestimate your role as a Dad. Your kids will always need you no matter what age. 

Read my blog on First Time Dad a Personal Journey

Download the Hands on Dad Survey here

 

Learn  to Dance it could Improve Your Health and Social Life

Last week my wife and I  were invited to a Ballroom Dancing Competition. The competitors  ranged from 6 years to 80 years of age. There was a great energy in the hall and the women looked extremely glamorous while the men looked very elegant in their black tails, black patent leather shoes and bow tie.

My feet was itching to go on the floor and dance. Actually my wife and I had the chance to dance when the judges had a break. The spectators were allowed on the floor for 30 minutes. What was interesting to see, was that every couple on the floor  were gazing into each others eyes, they were smiling and laughing but  they got their feet moving.

Today I  want to discuss the health benefits of Dancing. An article in the British News Paper dated 14th October 2108 confirms that dancing has tremendous health benefits. Doctors in the United Kingdom have now prescribed dancing lessons on the National Health Service to combat loneliness and depression.

UK Postal workers have also been encouraged to check on people who are living on their own and have not spoken to a relative or friend for over a month. They will be encouraged to chat to isolated residents and even suggest to them that they join local community groups. The scheme will be tested out first in Liverpool and Whitby, it could then be rolled out nationwide.

Theresa May the ex Prime Minister of the United Kingdom stated that  Elderly people could be prescribed ballroom dancing or cookery classes on the NHS for social reasons.

Instead of dishing out pills. Doctors are asked to encourage patients who are lonely to join social clubs, dancing clubs etc anything social would help their mental outlook. The UK government has launched the loneliness strategy because of concerns that loneliness has become a serious public health threat.

It’s a sad fact that a survey suggests that 200,000 senior citizens have not had a conversation with a friend or relative in more than a month. The Government is pumping  £1.8 million in extra funding to create new community cafés and gardens to encourage people to meet socially.

One fifth of UK adults feel lonely most or all of the time, and as we all know and evidence has suggested that loneliness is not conducive for health just as obesity or smoking. Government sources said the strategy will save millions in the long run by preventing other health problems to surface.

The critics are not so sure and are likely to ask that families should be taking more responsibility when it comes to relatives living on their own.

Ex Pensions minister Baroness Altmann said : ‘This is a sad reflection on what has happened in our society if a doctor needs to prescribe classes and courses so people can meet other people.

‘Sadly, younger generations aren’t often taking the time to bother with older generations. I’m not sure prescribing cookery classes will make a huge difference.’

The UK Prime Minister  Mrs May praised murdered MP Jo Cox who campaigned to end loneliness. ‘Loneliness is a reality for too many people in our society today,’ the Prime Minister wrote. ‘It can affect anyone of any age and background. Across our communities, there are people who can go for days, weeks or even a month without seeing a friend or family member.

The question we need to ask is whether  Jo Cox was right to highlight loneliness as a social injustice along with childhood obesity and mental well being which is proving to be a big public health challenge.

In conclusion, John O’Connell, chief executive of the TaxPayers’ Alliance stated that if this can be shown to reduce pressure on GP surgeries and A&E departments, it may well prove to be a good idea.

I personally think dancing is a form of exercise as well as a stress reliever. You connect with others on a social level. You get out of the house. You make friends, you become empathic and theres’ always laughter with the group. I took up ballroom dancing lessons in my teens. I become fully alive when I can dance the waltz, the quickstep, my slow fox trot needs a bit of working on, its been years since I danced. Perhaps its time to go back to social dancing.

See here the Benefits of Dancing

 

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Read My Blog: How to be a Healthy Dad

Put Your plan into action now commit to communicating what you need. Raising a newborn takes a lot of work, and it can be stressful at times. It’s important to communicate your needs – including the tasks you could use help with – to your partner or others in your life.

For instance, if you’re feeling tired or frustrated, don’t hesitate to say something like, “Honey, will you change the sheets in the crib this time?” Meanwhile, playfully take advantage of visitors too. For instance, charge one diaper change per baby cuddling session.

Make sure friends and family are aware of your schedule and resting times, and let them know the best times to visit. You can even ask them to take over baby duty while you catch a quick rest.

As parents of three adult married children we remember the excitement and joy when they were born. We also remember the hard work and challenges of daily task. Bathing the baby, feeding the baby, time out for us as parents.

Yes! there were challenges but they were beautiful moments that I had with my children when they were little. One such lovely incident was on Fathers Day. My eldest son who was six at the time carried a tray with six wheat a weetabix with milk spilling over the tray.

Moments like these are priceless. With proper support from each other we can formulate a plan to keep up with all the baby and household chores and still enjoy our life as a family.

Commit to communicating what you need. Raising a newborn takes a lot of work, and it can be stressful at times.

It’s important to communicate your needs – including the tasks you could use help with – to your partner or others in your life. For instance, if you’re feeling tired or frustrated, don’t hesitate to say something like, “Honey, will you change the sheets in the crib this time?” Meanwhile, playfully take advantage of visitors too.

For instance, charge one diaper change per baby cuddling session. Make sure friends and family are aware of your schedule and resting times, and let them know the best times to visit. You can even ask them to take over baby duty while you catch a quick rest.

All parents want to maintain an orderly household with home-cooked meals and a hands-on routine, but with a newborn, the more time you spend on chores, the less time you have to rest.

Forget the Housework

For the first few months in caring for a newborn, consider keeping the freezer stocked with frozen meals, send your kids to school with lunch money or healthy pre-made lunches, order takeout for dinner, and hire a home cleaning service and/or meal service.

• You might spend a little more money on these conveniences, but you will have more time to stop and rest, which is priceless when you have a newborn.
• Your newborn will grow fast and sleep better and longer with each passing month, so you won’t have to cut corners forever.