My mother is an exceptionally good cook so was my grandmother. My Gran showed me how to bake bread and my mother taught me how to make macaroni and cheese which I may add is my piece de resistance. 

After years of practice, I have become an expert at making mushroom pies and doughnuts Malaysian style with eastern spice.  I see your mouth is watering already. I love cooking because it’s therapeutic and an excuse to invite friends around for a snack. My homemade doughnuts on the right did not last long.

My sons are excellent cooks both my wife and I taught them the basic food skills. Teaching your children how to cook not only helps them develop cooking skills but gives them self -esteem and confidence to be more adventurous in later life. Start them off young.

How to teach your children healthy eating habits.

Children are most likely to have a healthy lifestyle if you make it fun for them. Here are some ideas for how to help them prepare, and even cook, their own meals and choose activities they enjoy. The NHS have given great tips and guidelines for a healthier child

• • at least five portions of a variety of fruit and vegetables (5 A DAY)
  • meals based on starchy foods, such as potatoes, bread, pasta, and rice – choose wholegrain varieties when possible
  • some milk and dairy products – choose low-fat options where you can
  • some foods that are good sources of protein, such as meat, fish, eggs, and beans and lentils

How to Educate your Children about Food

How to teach them how to take care of their Bodies.

1. Take your child food shopping with you and help them prepare a meal by themselves.
2. Get your children used to cooking healthy food by letting them help with these Change4Life healthy recipes. 
3. Explain to your child how to get the balance of their diet right using the eat well plate. It shows how much you should eat from each food group.
4. Show your child how to read food labels – for example, to check the sugar and fat in snacks. Even small children can understand the traffic light coding on some food packs.

Cooking Tips 

1. Older children might like to use their smartphone to increase their activity levels. There are lots of great fitness apps. Map My Walk is a free app that counts your steps when going for a walk (or jog) and counts the calories used, too. Or they could use a pedometer or step counter to keep track of how many steps they’re taking.
2. Look for little ways to get your child moving throughout the day, such as playing hide-and-seek and tag (for younger children), and walking or scootering to school.
3. Be sensitive to your child’s needs. If they feel uncomfortable participating in sports, help them find an activity they will enjoy without feeling embarrassed, such as dancing, skipping or cycling.
4. Some will prefer to take part in a team activity rather than solo pursuits. Young children (aged five to six) can make their own cookbook, choosing their favourite healthy recipes, getting tips on being a top chef, and even making a shopping list.
   

   Make Physical Activity Fun for Children

   Physical activity is an important part of achieving a healthy weight. It’s recommended children have at least 60 minutes of physical activity a day.

   More information on how much activity children should do and what counts as the activity

   • if your child is under five, read physical activity guidelines for children
   • if your child is aged 5 to 18, read physical activity guidelines for children and young people

   If your child isn’t used to being active, encourage them to start with what they can do and build up to 60 minutes a day.

   They’re more likely to stick to their new activity levels if you let them choose the type of activity they’re comfortable with.

Courtesy and acknowledgment NHS UK 

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Watch kids on a cookery show

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Do you tend to see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full, then you may need to improve your thinking patterns. Research shows that people with positive thoughts have a stronger resistance to illness, better coping skills during tough times, reduced risk of coronary artery disease, and less stress.

Positive thinking isn’t always a natural ability, but you can build it over time. Learn how to develop the strength of thinking positively and open up a whole new outlook on life. I have been a keen fan of developing a positive mental attitude since a teenager.  Brian Tracy, Dale Carnegie, Wayne Dyer have been my role models.

Change Your Thinking – Cultivate Gratitude

Write down what you are grateful for. Gratitude boosts positive emotion and leads to better health, happiness, and relationships. To build a grateful spirit, regularly take time to write down at least three good things each day.

Practice this exercise each night as you look back over your day. Note, on a piece of paper, three things that went well or that you are grateful for about the day.

Consider why you are grateful for these things. Write that down, too.

At the end of each week, look back on what you wrote down. Notice how you feel when reading over these things.

Keep this practice up week after week to foster gratitude.

Volunteer. Helping others through volunteerism increases self-confidence gives you a sense of purpose, reduces depression, and improves physical health. Think about what skills or talents you have to offer and how that can translate into helping others.

For example, if you enjoy reading, you can offer to read stories to children or elderly people. If you are creative, you can extend your services to helping with a community arts council.

Practice self-compassion. Know that you’re not perfect – you’re human, and everyone else around you is, too. Oftentimes, being self-compassionate is compared to being weak or overly self-indulgent. In truth, practicing self-compassion relates to showing yourself kindness rather than judgment, recognizing your common humanity rather than aloneness, and focusing on mindfulness rather than over-identifying with personal troubles.

One particularly useful way to practice self-compassion is to recite a comforting phrase during times of suffering or pain. For example, if you are down on yourself because you went through a terrible break-up, recite the following compassionate phrase “This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment? May I give myself the compassion I need?

Research shows that being self-compassionate can result in greater energy, resilience, courage, and creativity.

Laughter 

There’s much truth to the saying “laughter is the best medicine”. A good dose of humor improves cardiovascular functioning, relaxes the body, increases immunity, and releases feel-good endorphins.

Get your laugh on by watching a funny movie, hanging out with your hilarious roommate for the day, or sharing a joke or funny story with others.

Join a Laughter Group

Compliment people. As it turns out, compliments have the ability to boost the self-esteem of the person of the messenger and the receiver. Telling someone else what you like or admire about him simply makes you feel good. But, paying a compliment also knocks down walls in social situations and brings people closer together.

Ideas on how to pay compliments include:

Keeping it simple – compliments don’t have to be over-the-top

Be specific – tell the person exactly what it is about them that is so great

Be genuine – give compliments that you truly believe

Building a Positive Lifestyle

Gather a positive support system. Just as negativity can spread, so can positivity. Being around others who have a positive outlook on life can impact your own outlook as well. Develop the relationships in your life that make you feel good about yourself, that challenge you to grow and improve, and that push you towards positive lifestyle choices

Meditate. There is an abundance of evidence that shows the impact of daily meditation on positive thinking. In fact, one study showed that mindfulness meditation coupled with yoga in a group of breast cancer patients led to positive changes in the patients’ DNA structure. So, thinking mindfully can heal you from the inside out.

Find a quiet place where you can sit undisturbed for several minutes. Sit in a comfortable position. Take several cleansing deep breaths. You can simply focus on your breath or you can listen to a guided audio meditation specifically designed to foster positive thinking.

Exercise. Becoming more physically active generates brain chemicals called endorphins that leave you feeling relaxed and more content. What’s more, regular physical activity builds self-confidence, builds resistance to illness and disease, and controls weight – all factors that can have a significant impact on your outlook.

Research even shows that optimists are more likely to work out than pessimists. So, grab a pair of sneakers and walk your dog, go for a run or a hike, or turn on the radio and dance with your best friend.

Get sleep. Getting an appropriate amount of shut-eye can also drastically influence your optimism. Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Improve your ability to relax by creating a winding-down ritual that includes soothing activities such as listening to soft music, reading, or taking a hot bath. Plus, rising and retiring at the same time each morning and night can improve your sleep habits.

When people are sleep-deprived they experience a deficit in optimism, tending to be less hopeful and positive. Even children who get good quality and quantity of sleep are more optimistic.

Avoid alcohol or drugs. When we experience negative thoughts and feelings, we often turn to alcohol or drugs to numb them. However, alcohol and many drugs are depressants, which may increase negative feeling and increase the likelihood of self-harm.

If your tendency to think negatively causes you to turn to alcohol and drugs, call a friend instead. Or, even better, reach out to a mental health professional who can help you overcome these thought patterns.

Overcoming Negative Thinking

Become aware of your negative thoughts. Having a negative thinking style has various detrimental effects on health. The first step towards overcoming negative thinking is making yourself aware of when you’re doing it.

Negative thoughts tend to fall into the following categories: being fearful of the future, criticizing yourself, doubting your abilities, putting yourself down, and expecting failure. People who think negatively usually have a certain style of negative self-talk. Do any of these sound familiar?

Polarizing. Seeing things in only one of two categories with no middle ground. (i.e. If it is not good, it must be bad.)

Filtering. Exaggerating the negatives while minimizing the positives. (i.e. You got a good evaluation at work, but you spend your time dwelling on the areas your boss said need improving.)

Catastrophizing. Always expecting the worst to happen. (i.e. One tiny fight with your partner means she hates you and wants to break up.)

Personalizing. Blaming yourself for everything bad that happens. (i.e. Everyone leaves the party early. You assume it’s because you were there.)

Challenge your self-talk. Once you become aware of your tendency to think negatively, you must work to attack these thoughts. Use four methods to challenge negative thinking.

Test the reality – Is there evidence for or against my claim (negative self-talk)? Am I jumping to a negative conclusion without assessing the facts?

Look for alternate explanations – If I was in a positive mindset, how would I view this situation differently? Is there any other way of looking at this?

Put your thoughts into perspective – Will this matter in 6 months (or 1 year)? What’s the worst that can really happen?

Be goal-oriented – Are these thoughts moving me closer to accomplishing my goals? How can I problem-solve this?

Engage in positive self-talk daily. Becoming a more positive thinker won’t happen overnight. But, if you actively practice positive self-talk each day, you can develop a healthier, more positive mindset over time. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, put your thoughts to the test. Then, find more realistic and positive ways to transform your self-talk.

For example, “My girlfriend thinks I’m a loser” is a negative thought that can be challenged and transformed to “My girlfriend clearly sees something likable and worthwhile about me because she chose to date me”.

Stop comparing. Measuring yourself up against others is a sure route to always feeling negative and doubting your own abilities. As there will always be someone in the world who is better at any given skill than you, by comparing, you set yourself up for failure every time.

Instead, focus on your successes and celebrate them. Pay less attention to other people’s business and put more energy into your own self-improvement. Look to others who symbolize where or who you want to be without comparing. And, constantly take out time to appreciate your personal growth and the wonderful things happening in your life.

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The schoolboy from Staffordshire, now 14, was left with serious injuries to his face, head, arms, knees, and shoulder.

Jake had to take three months off school and the bullies were expelled after the two attacks which happened on consecutive days. His mother said he was first attacked by ten boys and the following day another bully two years older than himself attacked him with a pole.

Dianne the mother of Jake has now joined a campaign to change laws around bullying in the hope of saving children’s lives and raising awareness of bullying. The devastating effects it has on the victims is horrific. No child or adult should have to experience bullying in their lives.

She told the newspaper that her son had been dealing with bullies for a few months and it was so stressful that she did not want him to attend school. The encounter with the bullies has traumatized him, his head was totally mishap end after the beating.

Jake had PTSD a mental breakdown and was off school for three months. I wasn’t letting him go back there.

She said Jake’s autism made it hard for him to explain his emotions and has undergone two years of counseling but still struggles with anxiety. Jake’s world has been turned upside down because he does not feel safe on his own and is unable to go on holiday because he cannot cope with situations involving large groups.

He has three other siblings and his mother has formed an alliance with other parents whose children have been the victim of bullying, the parents will be visiting schools across the country to give children a voice and to be heard that bullying is not acceptable. They will be visiting schools across the country to share their stories in the hope of minimizing bullying.

Take Bullying seriously – Children have Rights Too!

I was a victim of bullying when I was at school. I had supportive parents, my three children were victims of bullying and intimidation at school. I took them to self defence classes which boosted their confidence and empowered them. If bullying is not dealt with immediately, it can have long term effects on your health and career and you will either live a life of a victim or become a bully yourself. Read my blogpost – Say no to Bullying

Bullying may have worse long-term effects than child abuse NHS

“Bullied children are five times more at risk of anxiety than those maltreated,” reports the Daily Mail. A study looking at both UK and US children found an association between childhood bullying and anxiety, depression and self-harm in adulthood.

People bullied by their peers in childhood were found to be more likely to have mental health problems in young adulthood than those who were ill-treated by adults, including their parents.

But the headlines are misleading – this figure only reflects the results of the US study. The results from the UK part of the study, which included more than three times the number of children, were not nearly as dramatic.

There are also some problems with the way this study was designed. It relied on children and parents self-reporting their experiences, which may make the results less reliable. For obvious reasons, parents, in particular, may have played down their ill-treatment of their children.

Still, the authors’ conclusion that schools, health services and other agencies should co-ordinate their response to bullying seems a valid suggestion.

If you are concerned that your child is being bullied, it’s essential that you or your child, or both of you, talk to their school. You could ask to see their anti-bullying policy, which every school has to have by law. This will allow you to see how the school plans to prevent and tackle bullying.

Read more advice about bullying, including spotting the signs and what you can do to help.

Analysis by Bazian
Edited by NHS Website

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Meet Miriam Laundry  Author and Personal Development Trainer!

I had the privilege of meeting Miriam at a Jack Canfield workshop in August 2019. She is very bubbly, confident and has a warm personality. Miriam Laundry is a best-selling author and educational speaker whose message empowers children, teens, and adults to believe in themselves.

Her first children’s book, I CAN Believe in Myself, set a Guinness World Recording 2014 and has garnered many awards. Her new book The Big Bad Bully is coming out on 29 October 2019.

Miriam Laundry

Author, Speaker, Writing Mentor

www.MiriamLaundry.com

Exciting news! My newest book “The Big, Bad Bully” will be released on Oct. 29th.

and …

My co-author, Jack Canfield and I will be doing a Virtual Book Reading of it.

Registration required: www.miriamlaundry.com/virtualbookreading

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According to a newspaper article, THE MALE menopause is a myth, and middle-aged men who complain of symptoms such as hot flushes and low libido could simply be overweight or depressed, a conference will be told today. Read the full article here!

Thousands of British men are undergoing hormone replacement therapy for the condition but Professor John McKinlay – one of the world’s leading experts on men’s health – now claims he has unequivocal evidence it does not exist

Women may not be alone when it comes to suffering from menopause-like symptoms, and the medical community is now debating the emergence of what is being referred to as male menopause.

You can learn how to understand male menopause by reviewing its time frame, its symptoms and it’s treatment options to determine if you might need to consult your physician for help for you or a loved one.

Read more about Male Menopause 

Doctors describe male menopause as a reduction in androgen, also known as testosterone, as men get older. This condition is also referred to as low testosterone. Low testosterone is associated with advanced age, but it can also occur with some diseases such as diabetes.

Most men can produce sperm very late in life, so male menopause is a much more gradual process than female menopause, which occurs over a distinct, much briefer time period.

Symptoms of Male Menopause

Males going through male menopause report feelings of weakness, depression, fatigue, and sexual issues. In regards to sexual function, your testes may appear smaller, you may have a reduced amount of sexual desire, infertility and/or you may experience fewer spontaneous erections like those that occur in the middle of the night.

The low testosterone levels affiliated with male menopause can sometimes cause insomnia. Physical changes affiliated with male menopause can include a reduction in muscle bulk, decreased bone density and increased body fat as symptoms.

Those affected may have swollen or tender breasts and/or experience hair loss. Hot flashes and loss of energy have also been described with male menopause. Emotional changes that may occur with male menopause can include decreased motivation and/or self-confidence. Sadness, depression and loss of concentration may also occur.

Consult Your Doctor

Visit your doctor to discuss symptoms and get an exam. Your doctor may run other tests to rule out any other conditions. Specific to the male menopause, your doctor can order blood tests to test your hormone level, including a blood testosterone level test. If your doctor determines that your testosterone levels are low, he or she may prescribe testosterone replacement therapy.

Testosterone replacement therapy does come with potential risks and side effects, though, including a higher risk of prostate cancer. Alternately, your doctor may suggest lifestyle changes instead of, or in conjunction with, your hormone replacement therapy. These lifestyle changes may include an exercise program or a new diet.

Is there such a thing as a Male Menopause?

The “male menopause” (sometimes called the “andropause”) is an unhelpful term sometimes used in the media to explain the above symptoms.

This label is misleading because it suggests the symptoms are the result of a sudden drop in testosterone in middle age, similar to what occurs in the female menopause.

This isn’t true. Although testosterone levels fall as men age, the decline is steady – less than 2% a year from around the age of 30-40 – and this is unlikely to cause any problems in itself.

A testosterone deficiency that develops later in life (also known as late-onset hypogonadism) can sometimes be responsible for these symptoms, but in many cases the symptoms are nothing to do with hormones. Courtesy NHS Male Menopause

Video on Treatment for Male Menopause

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-Read –  The male menopause: does it exist? – Western Journal of Medicine

Read my blog  – The Baby Blues –

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Don’t Show how Scared You Are!
I was a victim of bullying in my childhood, but have learned how to deal with it effectively. I take this very seriously as many children and adults have committed suicide. This blog is a bit lengthy but I have packed as much information as I could. I also urge you to read Miriam Laundry’s website below.

I remember we had a bully in our neighbourhood he was always targeting us. He knew we were a soft touch because we never stood up to him. He would beat the stuffing out of us and run home. He was tall and wiry and must have been about five years older than ourselves.

Whenever parents complained about his bullying, his mother would adamantly defend her son and scream at us, that we started the fight. He would act as if he was the victim and would put on the waterworks in front of his mother.

He beat me up several times. I never told my parents. My mother hated violence and would take the passive resistance approach. My dad was a different ball game altogether. He was assertive and not afraid of confrontation. He told us to fight our own battles.

My Dad sensed I was not my normal self, all he said was ” You can’t run away from situations all your life.. sort it out and face it head on. ”You have to learn to fight your own battles”. Give this bully a taste of his own medicine, even if you are afraid don’t show it ”.   His words gave me courage and it did wonders for my self-esteem. I felt ten feet tall because I knew he would have my back.

Fight back I did. I was walking home from school one day, as I approached my street with great trepidation, I saw the bully standing on the corner. I was prepared, I had a sharp stone in my pocket. He came straight for me – calmy, I took aim with the stone and struck him on the neck. He shrieked like a little girl. Petrified, I ran home as fast as I could. 

I heard him scream and swear that he was going to kill me,  but I dare not look back. I reached my front door and frantically turned the doorknob and hid behind the door.

My heart was beating so fast and my breathing was heavy. My mother had that worried look on her face when she saw me hide,” What’s wrong?  she asked – I said nothing.  There was a loud knock on the door and I ran into the kitchen and hid.

My Dad was witnessing the whole scene but stayed silent. He swung open the door. There stood the bully with blood streaming down his neck. “Look! look!  what Richard did to me” he whined, what did you do to him asked my Dad? – nothing, he whimpered”.

 My Mum and Dad believe in Me

“Alright said my Dad in his military tone of voice,  I will give him a damn good hiding. I looked at my Dad shocked, thinking to myself, he just told me to stand up for myself, and now he is going to beat the crap out me.

From today all this stops, ”Leave Richard and his brother alone”.  ”Do you hear me”?  said my dad in his stern voice “Yes, nodded the coward as he ran off sniveling back to his house.

I was expecting his mother to bang on our front door at any moment and cause a scene. The neighbours avoided her like the plague as she could be intimidating at times and used language that would make a sailor blush.

My mother was very emotional and visibly shaken, she said that I could have killed him. My Dad looked at me proudly and shook my hand firmly. I knew what that handshake meant. I always remember this story and would often repeat it to my kids.

Lesley never came near us again. I would walk past him with a new air of self-confidence and showed him I was no longer afraid of him. Fear can paralyze You, but Fear can also liberate YOU.

I was twelve when this happened, but it left an indelible impression on me. As I grew older, I met many more bullies in my life especially in the workplace, I was not afraid anymore.  I have taught my children how to be assertive and stand up to bullies without using violence.

Fight for Your Children’s Rights

My children were victims of bullying at school. They would never tell me anything. I knew something was up when my eldest son came home looking disheveled his shirt was torn and there was mud on his blazer. 

He looked shaken and pale. I asked what happened, he said that one of his school friends dads roughed him up because my son was fighting with his son in the park.

The reality was that he and his friend were play fighting and the father just happened to come by. He reacted but did not find out what happened.

His Dad believed that my son was fighting with him. I was fuming but said nothing. I picked up the phone and reported the incident to the police.

The police came to my house and my son explained what happened. They asked if I wanted to press charges. I said it was not necessary. but an apology to my son would be the right thing to do. The Dad apologized to my son, but my son cut links with this friend.

Parents should not be afraid to challenge other adults who physically lay a finger on their children. My daughter was also bullied at school.

The head refused to listen to reason. We took our daughter out of school and homeschooled her for a year. She found another school where she flourished in her studies and social life.

My second eldest son suffered the worst because he would suffer in silence. I had to pry information from him with a crowbar literally speaking.

I was enraged when I heard from his school friend that during detention the teacher had locked him in the classroom. When my son tried to leave, he pushed him with such force that he had bruises on his back.

I was at the police station so fast with my son and showed him the bruise inflicted by the teacher. I spoke to his Principal who tried to play it down.

The special police child unit was at the school the next day and did a thorough investigation. Apparently, this teacher was victimising other boys at the school, but they were afraid to speak up. I had no hesitation pressing assault charges against the teacher and the school.

The principal tried to gloss over the situation.  He eventually bowed under pressure from teachers and parents. They heard that the special police child unit was investigating this teacher for being violent on my son’s behalf. The teacher had to resign from his post. We never ever received an apology from the Principal or the school.

The point I am making is that my children had a right to be protected. Would You not do the same for your child? Not all teachers are bullies, I have some great memories of some of my teachers.

    Words Can Hurt watch the Video

Bullying: advice for parents NHS

Knowing or suspecting that your child is being bullied can be very upsetting, but there are lots you can do to help tackle the problem. Bullying is one of the biggest concerns for parents, according to a support organisation for parents.

If you find out or suspect your child is being bullied, there are things you can do to resolve the problem. And you don’t have to find all the answers on your own. There are a number of organizations, including Family Lives, that can give you help and advice – see Who can help with bullying?.

How do you know if your child is being bullied?

Sometimes children don’t talk to their parents or carers about bullying because they don’t want to upset them, or they think it will make the problem worse.

 If you suspect your child is being bullied, there are signs to look out   for, according to the NSPCC

• Coming home with damaged or missing clothes, without money they should have, or with scratches and bruises
• having trouble with homework for no apparent reason
• using a different route between home and school feeling irritable, easily upset or particularly emotional

Read more about spotting the signs of bullying on the NSPCC website 

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An Amazing Teacher

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Meet Miriam Laundry  Author and Personal Development Trainer!

I had the privilege of meeting Miriam at a Jack Canfield workshop in August 2019. She is very bubbly, confident and has a warm personality.

Miriam Laundry is a best-selling author and educational speaker whose message empowers children, teens, and adults to believe in themselves.

Her first children’s book, I CAN Believe in Myself, set a Guinness World Recording 2014 and has garnered many awards. Her new book The Big Bad Bully is coming out on 29 October 2019.

Join Miriam Laundry and Jack Canfield for  Virtual Book  Reading 29th October 2019

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