A Case of Failure to Launch?
The day I watched the movie Failure to Launch with my adult kids, (now married with their own families). I had tears of laughter streaming down my eyes. My eldest son just looked at me and gave me a big grin. He was the first to leave home and study abroad. Five years later we moved to join him. Read my blog… When Parents leave the nest.
I was so desperate to leave home when I was a teenager. I came from a large family and we were split up to stay with grandparents. Salaries were low and there was no money to send us to further education. My Dad worked very hard to clothe and feed us.
My eldest sister went to work. As soon as I finished school, I took a boatbuilder apprenticeship for three years. We contributed to the household utilities and food. I opened up a savings account. I remember coming home and told my parents that I had quit my apprenticeship. I already applied to work on a cargo boat. I was obsessed with seeing different countries.
My mother was horrified but my father understood how I felt. I filled in the application form at the shipping company and within three months, I was notified there was a vacant position for a ship’s steward. I had to attend catering school I learnt about catering, how to serve food etc. My wages was paid into my account and I made sure that my mum had some money for herself.
My Dad had just died leaving my two sisters and myself to support my mother and other siblings. My eldest sister bought a house and my mother came to live with her. All my remaining sisters and brothers set up their own homes. I had by then emigrated and got married.
The excuses now for children refusing to leave home are economic, unemployment and being overqualified.To some extent, I do agree that the job prospects are a bit gloomy at the moment, but! many qualified teen adults apply for work abroad.It has now become a universal trend for adult children refusing to leave the nest. This is causing a lot of stress to their aged parents.
In Japan apparently, according to one newspaper, the Japanese cabinet survey released some startling figures. They found that there are currently 541,000 young Japanese aged between 15 and 39 who lead similarly reclusive lives. The term is called Hikikomori read more..
Here’s another article You may find of interest: Elderly Italian couple take legal action to force son, 41, to move out of home .. read more
So where do we draw the line? I think we have to put boundaries in place before adult children come back to the nest. I know what I would do? Give them a time frame to sort themselves out and then change the door locks. Harsh yes! but how are they ever going to take responsibility for their own lives if we continue to shield them from the outside realities of life? Are we not entitled to our own lives or what’s left of them?